Guys…this one is for you.
Relationships are humanity’s greatest source of joy, and our greatest source of heartache. Everything from miscommunication, to likes and dislikes, etc. can all lead to a greater understanding between individuals…or it can cause huge rifts.
While there are MILLIONS of different topics within relationships to talk about, I would like to address the one I call “The Chase.”
The Chase is the time period in which a guy is doing his best to impress a girl to get her attention. He will learn to cook, sign up for Pinterest, watch movies like Pride and Prejudice and anything Disney, he will even spend countless hours at the gym trying to get into the shape that makes a girl do a double-take when he walks in the room. Yes…he will even learn to dance, if he doesn’t know how, all so he can take a girl out on a date and spend 1-2 hours a week with her.
Once all of his efforts have paid off, and the girl says “yes” to being his “girlfriend,” and eventually the “wife,” the guy will then make sure to remember all birthdays, family birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, when you first kissed, where you went for your first date, and on Valentine’s day he will go ABOVE AND BEYOND everything else he’s done throughout the year to impress you because he believes that “every day should be valentines day for you.”
That’s all sweet and nice. The problem is…men forget that pursuing someone…never ends. That’s one of the reason the divorce rate is as high as it is. Yes, there are many other factors that contribute to divorce, but one of them is selfishness…and men (if you’re reading this) you gotta lead in selfLESSness.
Once men get engaged and then married, the “fire” seems to begin to die out. Dates don’t happen as often, and “The Chase” no longer exists because that circular piece of metal with a compressed rock in it..says to everyone else “she’s mine” and thus the competition is squashed permanently.
I only wish that were true, but we are all aware that not even a wedding ring and the sacred bonds/vows made before the LORD our GOD prove enough to account for the sinful nature of man and the desires of the flesh. Without Christ’s design for relationships, everything fails.
So guys hear this:
Christ NEVER stops pursuing us for the duration of our lives, and will continue to pursue us even after we are with Him in paradise!
Did you get that? Let me say it again: THE PURSUIT NEVER STOPS!!!! LOVE NEVER GIVES UP!!
Why is it so hard to turn to the girl you are dating or (especially) married to and let her know that you love her every day by saying it, and then living it? I’m not saying every man should live in fear of their wives cheating on them, but if every Godly man were to look at their Godly wives with the knowledge that their wives ARE, in fact, in love with another man (Jesus Christ) and that we are second at best….then guys might just begin to understand what love really means, as well as what our role in love, should be.
So guys, remember that Christ MADE the woman you will marry/are married to and that something with value that cannot ever be expressed in words or money…is worth your LIFE.
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends”
And since the goal is to marry your best friend…well nothing says it better than John 15:13.
On top of that, remember that in GENESIS…yes the beginning, when God made everything He said “it was good” BUT, the first time he said “it was not good” was when he said “it was not good for man to be alone…”
He then created a “helper suitable for the man” making the point that man was not complete until woman was created.
That’s why we have different roles, personalities, qualities, etc. We are made to be together…so guys, START ACTING LIKE IT!
I know there are a lot of caps, bold things, and exclamation points in this post but men need to understand something, especially if you want to be a father. If your relationship with your wife is not on fire for Christ, then your relationship with EVERYONE ELSE will suffer because of it. That is what it means to be married. You forsake ALL (not some, a few, most) others, leave your mother and father, and join your life to hers. NO ONE is as valuable (on this earth) as your wife. And to that note, NO THING on earth is more valuable than her.
No time out with the guys, no video game, no drink, no social activity, no habit, etc. is more valuable than the woman that God created to complete you. So put down the Xbox controller, put down your phone and, as a church speaker so eloquently put it “listen with your FACE.”
I write all of this just to say: “The Chase” never ends if you truly love the woman you choose to marry. Yes this world is tough. Yes you have to plan things and can’t be as spontaneous as before. Yes you have two people to budget for…but you never worried about all that stuff before you got married did you?
Be responsible, but loves your wives more than your uncertain future. God gave you today. Tomorrow worries about itself and your wife loves you today.
So if you want a lesson on how to be a more Godly man and how to ensure that others know you love Christ without having to “preach” to anyone, then love your wife with everything you’ve got. No excuses. No holding back. Once you learn to do that, you’ll understand the character of Christ more than you’ve ever understood Him before.
[Pursue with intent.Pursue with passion.Pursue with your life]
Do It Now. “Later” isn’t good enough.