I find that people (myself included) are great at giving advice to others, telling others what to look for in a potential job, husband, wife, etc. but rarely do we listen to our own advice…especially when the topic turns to “relationships.” We think that for some reason, our situation/relationships with others are so much different from the rest of the world, that no one could possibly speak truth to it.
HAH! We’re all human and go about things the same way whether we want to admit it or not. We don’t/can’t do anything to surprise God. So …basically resign yourself to the fact that yes, someone does, in fact, know what you are going through.
Christians are notorious for telling other Christians what kind of guy/girl they should be looking for, what qualifications “must be” present before someone should even consider them, heck we even point out to people when they “talk about/spend more time with/trust someone more readily than others” because we want to make sure they see what’s right in front of them! We are wizards when it comes to having all sorts of Godly wisdom and advice.
That’s great and all, but when the situations are reversed…we do one of two things:
1. totally reject that we are in the same situation
2. are totally oblivious to the fact that we are in the same situation.
So to the Christians out there: Listen to what God says, and for His sake, listen to the words coming out of your mouth when you are sharing Him with someone else. Don’t tell someone else to “not miss what’s right in front of them” if you are turning a blind eye to something. Don’t tell someone that they need to get past their fear of commitment, their fear of failure, etc. if you are doing the same thing. To that same point, don’t think that “not making a decision” is going to spare you from difficult choices. More often than not, people will use the phrase “I’m just going to listen to Jesus and not make a decision right now.” While it is good to listen to Christ, not making a decision… is making a decision…to NOT decide.
I know that’s confusing but basically it means this: Yes in ANY relationship situation there’s the potential for someone to get hurt. So the excuse of “I don’t want to lose…[something/someone]” is unacceptable. Nothing compares to Christ and all will fade away when we get to Him anyway. Instead of being afraid of losing something, just understand that next to Christ anything else you “lose” …doesn’t matter, and on top of that…stringing people along is the EASIEST and most effective way to lose someone close to you. Yes…if you do not make a decision between two things…you will lose both of them instead of just one.
Though it doesn’t always apply, the phrase, “If it looks like a duck….” needs to ring in our ears as Christians.
If we look like and act and talk like a Christian, then there’s a better chance we’ll be identified as such.
Same thing goes for relationships. If you look like you love someone, act like you love them, spend all your time with them, share Christ with them, spur one another forward in Christ, bring out the best in each other, then chances are…that’s where you’re supposed to be. So rather than looking for something “more” in another person or waiting for something to change, perhaps YOU are the one that needs a change. Perhaps it is YOU who needs to step out of fear and into the work of Love. The first step is boldness, and the first trial is patience. That’s just how the learning process of Love is.
Just read 1 Corinthians if you don’t believe me. It says “love is patient…” first.
I don’t think that it was a mistake to put that first in the love passage.
Set fear aside, set the flesh aside, seek Christ and LISTEN to all that He is teaching you. You can only ignore the whisper for so long before you walk into the pillar of fire that is the power of Christ.
Lastly, I leave the reader with this challenge, and this question.
Challenge: look at your life and at those that truly care for you and have always been there for you. If you want to know how to find the person you are made to commit to, then look for the person you trust the most, learn from the most, get frustrated with the most, and spend the most of your time with…then…start praying about what YOU need to do about it…not what they need to be for you.
Question: If love never fails, it always wins, it’s patient, kind, considerate, doesn’t envy or boast, isn’t self-seeking, and is who Christ, the name above all names, IS….then what do you have to lose by letting go of insecurities and fear to truly love someone?
[Listen To Others. Listen To Your Own Words.Listen To Christ.]