Both men and women have had false expectations set for them in regards to dating and courting. The world tells us lies about relationship expectations. However, even within the church there are some expectations that need a little tweaking.
Men are not living up to the name of Christ, so much so that women are saying that in order for them to even consider dating again….the man they date would have to basically be Jesus.
What women (and men) don’t realize is that they are setting themselves up for a lot of disappointment and failure. No man, not one, will ever be Jesus.
Let’s reiterate that again:
No man….not one….will EVER be Jesus.
This is not suggesting that women need to lower standards (please don’t), but Men are not going to be Christ. They are going to be LIKE Christ in how they love you. On this side of life, perfection is impossible and an expectation for it…will only lead to bitterness.
The job of a man is to be the chief guard of a woman’s heart and protect it for Christ. So instead of looking for Jesus (you already have Him) look for a man that is going to guard your heart so much so, that it allows you to love Christ more.
That is the guy you are looking for. Not perfect. Not flawless. Just so in love with Jesus and so in love with you, that he wants to protect what is most precious to Christ. Your heart.
The same is true for men pursuing a Godly woman.
Women are made in the image of God just as much as men are, yet are just as flawed. There will never be a woman, who meets all the proverbs 31 criteria according to how it is written on paper. It is impossible for us to be perfect. God is describing a woman who is so in love with Jesus that she puts her family before her and does whatever is pleasing to Jesus. That does not mean she is perfect. This merely means that she desires what Jesus desires.
Men and women need to stop pursuing perfection in another person because of one very blatant scripture verse:
Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. -Genesis 2:18 AMP
From the beginning both man and women were made to be deficient without God and without one another. Without God there is no life, without one another there is no continuation of that life (children, offspring, etc.).
The purpose of a relationship with the opposite gender is to understand more of the nature and character of Jesus Christ, not to be complete or perfect on this side of eternity. It is to grow in the understanding of who God is, not to instantly become whole and complete.
Don’t live in disappointment and frustration because you are looking for what you already have. You have Jesus. A man/woman of God has Jesus.
- Women, look for your chief guard. Know that he will be imperfect. Know that it does take time to get to know him. Don’t let your guard down even at church. A Man of God would never ask you to do so.
- Men, look for a woman that is so guarded that your only option is to honor her more than you thought you could. She was handcrafted by Jesus, and He wants her heart in tact when He returns for it. Know that she will also not be perfect but she is clothed in the righteousness of Christ just as you are so that you may look beyond imperfections and strive for what Christ sees.
The end goal is to know Christ more, not to wait on a man or woman to be perfect. What one is lacking, the other makes up for so that together they can pursue Christ with an even greater fervor than ever before.